Dry Eye in Panarama City

Dear Helen,
My eyes f*ing kill me every day after staring at the computer for 10 hours
straight. I'm using re-wetting drops, but they're still blood-shot and just
plain painful. Any advice?

-Dry Eye in Detroit
(Well, actually Panarama City, but I needed something that started with a D)

Dear Dry Eye in Detroit/Panarama City,

How's the Target over there? Anyways, your problem is a very common one. The most beneficial thing you can do at this point is to dim the lighting in the room you work in. If you have fluorescent lights, buy a lamp and use that instead...soft lighting will help a lot. Another thing is to dim your computer screen because that will help with straining. Ideally, the brightness of your computer screen and the room lighting should be about equal.
Another thing that might help is to take frequent breaks away from your computer screen, maybe once every 30 minutes.
And a 3rd suggestion is to get reading glasses made especially for when you're at your computer. Other than that, have you considered a job in farming, or restaurant management perhaps? Or something where you don't have to stare at a computer screen 10 hours a day...wait you only work 10 hours a day?!

Those darn chiggers!

Question: I need a cure for chigger bites...STAT!

Answer: Well first let's talk about what chiggers are. Even though is sounds like a deep fried food straight out of the South, chiggers are actually tiny tiny little larvae of mites, they're so small you can't even see them. Most people think they burrow under the skin but they don't, they actually feed off the fluid of your skin, leaving it red, itchy, and dry. So how do you get rid of these little f-ers? Some people will recommend putting nail polish on top of them to seal them in and reduce itching, but since they don't really burrow under the skin, this will only reduce itching but not the actual infection. While you could take benadryl, it will probably make you sleepy, so your best bet is hydro-cortisone cream to reduce the itchiness and taking oatmeal baths to reduce the inflammation. If it's still bad after a couple weeks, you should definitely go see your doctor.

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Because I'm not so great at this whole html dealio...this is how you email me:

On the bottom of the left column, it says "view my complete profile" and if you click that you'll see a link that says "email me"

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