Those darn chiggers!

Question: I need a cure for chigger bites...STAT!

Answer: Well first let's talk about what chiggers are. Even though is sounds like a deep fried food straight out of the South, chiggers are actually tiny tiny little larvae of mites, they're so small you can't even see them. Most people think they burrow under the skin but they don't, they actually feed off the fluid of your skin, leaving it red, itchy, and dry. So how do you get rid of these little f-ers? Some people will recommend putting nail polish on top of them to seal them in and reduce itching, but since they don't really burrow under the skin, this will only reduce itching but not the actual infection. While you could take benadryl, it will probably make you sleepy, so your best bet is hydro-cortisone cream to reduce the itchiness and taking oatmeal baths to reduce the inflammation. If it's still bad after a couple weeks, you should definitely go see your doctor.